Moments and Meltdowns...Yes, They Happen!!

Today I am praising the Lord that we have survived one week of Roger being away! What a week it was for all of us including moments of tears on both our children and my part at some point in time. I'm thankful that God's grace is sufficient for me; I'm thankful that He never leaves me nor forsakes me; I'm thankful for new mercies every day. 

Roger left for Maine last Saturday. I wasn't sure what I was going to do to distract the kids from the long day, but God provided am opportunity for us to visit with some friends. Gretchen and Sean were taking a quick trip to Ohio to help a friend, and they asked if I would be willing to come and watch their kids. It was the perfect distraction for all of us. The kids had friends to play with, I had a treadmill to run on, and we all had a little more space to ourselves. 

As usual, Sunday was a rough day for all of us. Somehow, the devil can discourage me more on this day than any other. I also tend to be more tired and emotional, which means that I have to put up an extra guard against impatience, inconsistency, and frustration. I can see that our children are struggling more with Roger being gone this time as am I. My children are facing their own battles, and while I'm trying to be sensitive to that, it's hard to find the time to spend with each of them. Travis has become a "leach" meaning that he wants to go with me everywhere, know where I'm going, when I'll be back, and wants to sleep in our bed every night! He is crowding my personal space, but I'm trying to be okay with that. 

I was able to have lunch with a friend on Tuesday. Tressa works in Berlin and invited me to join her on her lunch break. We had a good time together, and I'm thankful that my mom was willing to watch the kids for an hour for me. 

Wednesday was a busy day with grocery shopping, errands, and church. We had a missionary speaker at church, and I always enjoy seeing what God is doing in other parts of the world. It was a long day, but a good day. 

Friday:

I've been having a lot of "female" problems as of late. It concerns me that I am tired all the time, feel depressed often, struggle with fatigue, and I gained quite a bit of weight in one month! After talking with Roger about some of my recent struggles, I decided to make an appointment with the doctor. There was a cancellation, so I was able to get into see the doctor right away. I explained some of the issues that I've been experiencing and told her that I just feel "off". It was a very disappointing visit for me. Her basic conclusion is/was that my body is going through some stressful time, and that it will balance itself out. I'm to wait six months to see if my issues get better,  and if not then she will run a thyroid test and a hormone panel of test. Meanwhile I'm to take ibuprofen every six hours for the next four days to help balance things! Yeah, it was a disappointing day, and I left with more questions than I started out with. I'm not sure what to do next, but I do feel like I'm at a low point with how I feel. 

In addition to that, Travis developed a severe toothache today! He has a tooth that looks like it has an abcess growing. It was too late to call the dentist by the time I realized how severe it is, so we could be in for a very long weekend! He's in quite a bit of pain, and of course, he wants to be right near me! It seems like it was a little better this evening after a dose of ibuprofen and a tea bag on the swollen spot. 

In addition to that, Wyatt has a lump growing on his leg! (I know...by now you think I'm making this all up! Trust me, I am not!) Wyatt has had a little bit of a bump on his shin, but yesterday he started complaining about it hurting. I checked it out and noticed that it has grown larger since I last looked at it. He has an appointment on Monday to have it looked at. 

In other news:

The boys were able to go ice skating tonight, and they had a great time. My dad took them skating at the pond at the end of the road and a couple of other families from church joined them. I know the boys were excited to be able to go tonight and it provided them with a fun, free activity. I'm thankful that my dad was able to spend some time with the boys this week, and I treasure the moments that they have with their papa. Chandler ended up with a black eye from a hockey stick, but it was fun. 

                          

   

Roger is getting settled into the job in Maine. He is thrilled to be back at flying and is enjoying getting to know the company and area a bit better. We are hoping to start looking at homes as soon as he is finished with his training. I'm a little worried about getting a loan, the process of finding a house, and several other details that must be worked out. However, God knows exactly what must happen and when, so I need to just WAIT! Waiting is hard, but it's a good reminder that God is enough. 

We appreciate your prayers, and we love you all so much.

Sarah 

Departures and Depression

Wow! So much has happened since I last hopped on here to write about the adventures in our lives! Let's see...Roger has a start date at his new job; his previous job in Arizona called to see if he wanted to come fly for them again; we've been working hard at school;  we snuck in a quick trip out to South Dakota to see Aunt Jen; my parents are back safely from their travels, and life is moving forward! 

First of all, Roger is thrilled to have a start date for his new job! He will be leaving around the 20th of February to head out to Maine. We've been looking at many, many, houses online, but as we well know, pictures can be deceiving! Roger has to complete two weeks of training (unpaid) before he will officially be hired on. Once that takes place, then Roger can begin to start house hunting. We've decided to buy if the Lord allows us to find the right place. Although this flying job isn't a forever job, it will most likely be a four to five year job. Renting a house for a family of our size is...well, crazy! We are praying about the right house, in the right location, with the right price. 

I can see the anxiousness coming out in our boys even though Roger hasn't officially even left for Maine yet. We are all feeling the need for our own space again, and we are dreading the separation that is coming. However, it's different then when Roger left for Florida for his training or even different from the job in Arizona. I think we all are gearing up for Maine to be "home" for a while, so there's a different type of anxiousness. We are once again waiting to see how God is going to fit all the pieces of this puzzle together, and we are trying to not rush God's perfect timing. 

I'm  fighting depression hard this time as Roger leaves for Maine. Waiting on God is exactly where He wants me to be, but this is hard! I'm going to be apart from my best friend, my soul-mate, the father of our children, and my steadfast parenting partner for an indefinite period of time. While I am so very grateful that my parents have allowed us to stay with them, we both need our own places. There's something very different about moving back into your parents house after almost eleven years of marriage and five children! My parents love our kids; but our kids are also loud, messy, noisy, and they come with lots of Legos, nerf guns, and mud! When Roger left for Arizona, we still had our own homes, so while single parenting was challenging, I'm still facing some very different challenges this time around. However, God knows my heart, and He will use this time to draw me closer to Himself, I'm sure. I chose to write about these feelings and emotions, because someday all of this will be a memory in the past. God is good...and He's still God. 

Roger will have a busy week this next week with finishing up at the job he's been working at, getting caught up on his flying skills, packing up, trying to spend some individual time with each of the boys, and getting his life insurance policy updated! The last one is one that I am adamant on! I was reading over the policy and discovered that his life insurance policy does not cover aviation accidents! Although I am not planning on anything happening to my man, it's definitely an important thing to amend!  

The kids, my mom, and I took a short trip out to South Dakota. Although it's a twelve hour drive, it's a lot closer to come from Wisconsin to South Dakota then from Maine to South Dakota! Originally Roger had planned on coming with us, but when he received word about the job in Maine, we decided that I would be best if he stayed in Wisconsin. However, it's our first Valentine's Day that we haven't been together for so that's an interesting change. My sister has graciously opened up her apartment to us, and the boys have been enjoying spending time with her. She lives in an apartment by the school, so the boys have access to the gym. Since the school has a few days off, the boys have been running and playing  non-stop!

It was a good trip, and I cherish the memories with my sister. However, it's back to reality! We just have a few short days until Roger leaves, so we are trying to make the most of our time. And in making the most of our time, I'm signing off to spend time with my family.