When Good Bye is Painful...God is still good

I have no idea why the pictures on this showed up twice. But I'm not going to worry about it now!

Psalms 46:1

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

In the last twenty-four hours, I've cried more than I have in a very long time! Whew! I am very thankful that this part is just a small piece of the big puzzle. 

On Saturday morning, I joined a few ladies for lunch. My friend, Tressa, set up a date for ladies to come to lunch together to say good by. Amazingly enough, I throughly enjoyed myself and only shed a few tears. I mean, I'm not surprised I enjoyed myself, but I am surprised that I managed to only cry a little!!

                                       Lunch with friends

 

I sang special music on Sunday with three very dear friends, and it was only by the grace of God that I stumbled through the song. It was hard as I looked out on the congregation and realized how many dear and precious friends we have. Some are acquaintances that offer prayers on our behalf, a few are close friends, and fewer still are very, very dear friends. 

Roger arrived home with the u-haul just moments after we arrived home from church on Sunday morning. We had invited a few close friends to eat lunch, load the u-haul, and make a few memories one last time. Our goal was to make it to Sunday night church, but our first priority had to be loading up the truck. Roger and Ryan, another close friend, loaded the piano into the truck. From there we proceeded to load up all of our belongings from my parents house. My mom made lunch for everyone who came to help. I think we ended up having seven ladies, six guys, and fifteen kids when everyone was there! Many hands make light work! 

We ate lunch quickly and headed to our storage unit. I was a little concerned about how everything was going to fit, but Roger is an amazingly good packer! We did manage to fit everything we needed into the u-haul truck, and we made it back to my parents house with enough time to feed the kids before we changed clothes and rushed back for the Sunday evening service. I'll admit that I probably didn't go to church so much to hear the message as I did to say good by to my friends. It was an emotional evening for me even though I know that we are making the best choice for our family. I did feel a little bad for Roger. I would've thought that more men in the church would have made an effort to say good by or at least shake his hand. I know he hasn't been close to many people in the last few years, but it would have soothed my heart a bit to know that people care about us as a family and a couple. It's been a difficult journey for us as a family, and we are looking forward to seeing how God directs us in Maine. 

       

                                           I am so thankful for these ladies! 

  

After Sunday night church we did get to go out for ice cream with a few close friends. It's hard to cry when you're eating ice cream, so that was a relief! We didn't get home until around ten, and our children were exhausted. This has been tough on them as well, and I'll be shocked and amazed if none of them becomes sick. 

We were up early this morning to try to finish all the last minute tasks. I had dropped off the truck on Friday to get the tires changed, but they discovered that there were a few other repairs that should be made. They couldn't get the truck done until today. They were waiting on some parts, and they said it would be done around noon. Roger and I went and grabbed the few items that were left in our storage unit, checked to see when the suburban would be done, went to the bank, and wrapped up a few last minute boxes. My friend, Gretchen, invited us to come over for coffee and treats. Since Roger had a few errands to do in Oshkosh, he dropped myself and the kids off at Gretchen's house. The boys were delighted to have one last opportunity to play with friends, and I was certainly going to capitalize on a coffee date with my dearest friends! 

Jenna and Autumn came over for coffee as well. Honestly, saying good by was much more painful today. I know I'm tired, weary, and just drained, so the emotional side of saying good by caught me off guard. When I think about missing their birthdays, the birthdays of their children, the absence of coffee dates, animated discussions about family, kids, church, and life, and both of our lives moving forward, well, it's just hard to not be a basket case! I've created memories that will never be erased, but I also know that this move is not just a few months or short-term. God is directing us to settling down, find a good church, and raise our family in the state of Maine. It's hard knowing that there isn't a friend to invite myself over for coffee with, engage in a lively discussion, arrange a play date with, or invite for birthday suppers. I know that God has brought us this far, and His hand is definitely in this. But my heart struggles are real, but God is bigger. 

We left around two-thirty on Monday afternoon. I spent the first hour or so trying to stem the flood of tears. I finally gave up, and I felt better after I cried even though I then had a headache! We made it to South Bend, Indiana. We stopped about ten o'clock and practically fell into bed. Wyatt cried himself to sleep as he said all his friends were gone. It was hard to disagree as my heart is heavy also. I'm thankful for an understanding husband, great kids, and a sister and her husband that  are waiting in Maine. 

An early morning greeted us as we were on the road by 6:30 am. It was a long day of traveling, but we are getting closer. We have seven hours to travel tomorrow and then we will arrive at our new home! We appreciate your continued prayers as we seek to adjust, work together, find a church, and find a routine at works for us. 

Homeowners?! Wow!

The last few days have been a whirlwind of activity, and by that statement I mean just plain hard work! Hard work hasn't killed anyone, but I certainly made me have a great nap on the flight home. (I was probably the person who looked passed out, and I just hope I didn't have drool coming out of my mouth!)

I left for Maine on Sunday afternoon. My friend, Jenna took me to the airport. We left early just so that we could have a longer visit together...shhh, don't tell anyone! However, it doesn't matter how much time I have with her, we never run out of things to discuss. Often our conversations can be  sometimes loud, emotional, or emphatically, but always we have a good time. The flight to Chicago was uneventful, and there was a slight delay in Chicago for the flight to Portland. Neither plane was large, but they were completely capable of doing the job. I always get a laugh out of hearing people discuss the "tininess of the plane". I'd like to remind people that planes can get a LOT smaller and still get you on the ground safely! 

I arrived in Portland, Maine around 6:00 pm., and Roger was there to meet me. We stayed the night at a bed and breakfast place, as we had a walk-thru on the home at eight am. We were early for the walk thru so we drove around the countryside for a bit, and Roger pointed out places he thought might be interesting to the boys. As we arrived back at the house, our realtor was there for the walk thru, and so was the owner of the property...he was still moving stuff out! Since we had the closing at nine, I wasn't sure how much he was going to get done as the signing was half an hour away! Oh well,  it wasn't my problem. However, because his time was running out, he asked if we wanted the ping pong table in the basement. It's a very nice one, and I'm sure the boys will enjoy it. I do have a sneaking suspicion that even if we had said "no", it still would have been left there! I knew the house would need a good cleaning, and the previous owners did not disappoint! The kitchen and bathrooms needed plenty of cleaner and some good elbow grease, but the house did look better empty than it did when they lived there. 

The house signing went off without any snags or delays....Praise the Lord!  The  previous owner still had a big flat screen tv to get off the wall at the closing, and he asked if we wanted to buy it from him. We said "no". I think he was disappointed, but at this stage of our lives, that is not what I need taking up a wall in our living room. So, he had to go back and get it off the wall. Right after the house signing, we celebrated by going to Lowe's and selecting $100.00 worth of various cleaning supplies! We grabbed a quick lunch and headed home....wow, that's a new word in our vocabulary! He t.v was off the wall, and the house was ours. We changed clothes and got to work! Roger shocked me with how awesome he did at cleaning the bathrooms and getting spots off the carpet. We worked together for several hours and the progress was becoming apparent. We were both getting tired of cleaning, but thankfully, my sister, Hannah, arrived with fresh wind for the sails! We tackled the kitchen, while Roger scrubbed out soap scum from the downstairs bathroom. It may seem like I'm some kind of neat freak, and I'm not. I just want soap scum, spilled condiments, and dust left from my house neglect, and not the people who lived there before us! We have five kids so our house is lived in and not a museum. However, I do like things to be presentable, so we worked at it. By 5:30pm, Roger was starving, the house was much improved, and we all needed fresh air! 

       

   

We went to dinner in Rockland, and then took a walk on the breakwater. The breakwater is a stretch out into the ocean that they put there with granite boulders to protect the harbor. It was a beautiful walk, but I definitely needed a jacket on the water! 

Then we went to Lowe's...again! I had see earlier in their sales ad, that they were offering a rebate on gallons of paint. Since the sale ended today, I wanted to make sure that we could get in on the rebate. Paint is expensive, and our budget is not limitless. I love how God is interested in the details in our lives! The paint department had a shelf with mis tints, and various other paints that were being discontinued. The store is having inventory tomorrow, and the lady in the paint department was anxious to get rid of whatever paint she could. She offered to give additional mark downs any mistint paints we found on the shelf. We found a pink for Emma's room, a light blue for the boys and the laundry room, a can of primer, and two little cans that she marked down to .25! The big gallon containers of paint, she marked down to $10.00. Wow, God is so good! We did have to buy paint that wasn't on sale, obviously, as we couldn't find every color on the mis tint shelf! However, the other paint cans did come with a $10.00 rebate. When we checked out, the rebate printed on the bottom of the receipt. The cans that were on sale also came with a rebate, so we got four gallons of paint free! How awesome is that! 

By the time we came home, it was too late to start painting. Hannah headed home, and then Roger and I looked at each other and said, "Where are we sleeping tonight?" We have a house, with nothing in it...not even a towel! We decided to go the airport to get Roger's pillow and clean clothes for him from the pilot house. We could've stayed there, but trust me, I did not want to. Roger didn't want us staying there either. We forgot to get towels, but Roger picked up his pillow and clean clothes. We didn't have an air mattress either, and we are both getting kinda old for sleeping on the floor. We went to Walmart to pick up some fruit for breakfast, and there on the clearance shelf was an air mattress. It was actually a very good brand, and I have no idea why it was on the shelf other than the fact that God loves me! So, we spent our first night as home owners in our new house. 

Tuesday was a full day with more cleaning, getting ready to paint, and we actually did get to start the painting! Yay! Painting is an added touch of making it our home, and I am looking forward to seeing how it turns out. 

Roger's mama offered to come out an help paint as I am returning to Wisconsin on Wednesday, and Roger will be busy flying. She found a ticket for Wednesday, and she will return on Sunday, June 12. Roger will also be flying out on Sunday and coming to Wisconsin, so it worked out well. An extra set of hands will make the painting go a lot faster, and the more we get done before the "help" (a.ka. Five kids) arrive, the better it will be! The older boys really want to paint their room, and they are probably almost ready for that, so we will see. 

On Wednesday I returned to Wisconsin to finish up the packing. I was exhausted and slept most of the plane ride back to Wisconsin. My friend, Autumn, and her two kids picked me up from the airport. It was nice to have a visit with a dear friend, and it was also nice to be able to visit without feeling like I'm taking time away from something else I desperately need to be doing! 

It's been a crazy few days here, but I do believe the light at the end of the tunnel is for real and not an on-coming train! I've been getting rid of stuff, packing up stuff, cleaning, and trying to inform our kids about all the upcoming changes in the next few days. While I'm looking forward to seeing my husband (for good, this time), I'm not looking forward to the good byes, the 21 hour drive, and all the things that are required to do to set up home again...either I'm getting old or lazy....or maybe both! Actually, I'm just weary. The kind of deep weariness that makes your body ache and your eyes water. Can anyone relate to that feeling? 

But when  I look at the other side of the equation, I'm amazed at how God has orchestrated this whole cantata of events. If Roger hadn't had the job in Arizona, he wouldn't have been able to apply for this job. Roger is definitely not one to brag, so I'll do it for him! He is very, very good at what he does. God has given him a special gift for aviation, and I am enjoying seeing him work towards his full potential. There are so many more details that God orchestrated including allowing Hannah and Josh to move to Maine so that we would have some family on the east coast. 

Someday I'd love to write a time line about the last two years and the steps that God directed us towards. It's been a fasincating adventure...sometimes it felt like an escapade or disaster, but God has always directed one step at a time. As we look to the future, we certainly do not know what it holds. I know that God has given us five children; therefore, we will work to direct them to know God in a personal way. Our desire is that each child come to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, and that they each will live their lives for Him. I know that I am married; therefore, I will be faithful to Roger and seek to meet his needs. I know that God has directed Roger to this job; therefore I will be supportive and prayerful about his work. I know that God has given us a home; therefore, I will look for opportunities to be hospitable. I know that God desires our family to be in church; so we will look for a church that we can serve and grow in. We're looking for a church that is doctrinally sound, has Sunday school for children, and a music program that is God honoring as well as uplifting and inspiring. I don't need to wave my hands or stand on the pew to be inspired by the music, but I'm looking forward to feeling inspired rather than I may expire! I realize that I took a rabbit trail for a moment, but it's just something that is important to me. Roger has visited a few churches, but we definitely have not felt God's direction to one yet. Please keep praying for us on that as church is a big deal to our family. We want to be involved, serve the Lord together, see ourselves and our children grow in the Lord, and a place to worship the Lord together. 

Anyways, the work is piling up around me again. I need to get back at the tasks at hand. Only three more sleeps as my children would say until we leave for Maine! Yikes! 

We are grateful for your prayers. 

One Day at a Time!

As summer is coming into full swing, and our lives are crazy right now, it's difficult for me to keep up with the happenings in our lives. However, I do cherish these moments and memories and I want to remember them as our family grows older. 

Where to even start?! Okay, I'll first give an update about the house in Maine. We are going to be unable to close on June first, which is tomorrow. I am very disappointed about that although I know that God has a reason for even this. Because Monday was Memorial Day, we didn't have the three full business days we needed to look over all the paperwork from the bank. So, actually, I don't even know when the closing date will be. We have an extension until next Wednesday. However, we would like to close as soon as possible! The house needs cleaning and painting...preferably before we move in, but our time is running out! I'll be honest and admit that I'm pretty disappointed in this, but this is not in my ball court. It looks like I'll be flying out for the closing, whenever that takes place, and then coming right back the next day. Because of where we will live in Maine, overnight mail is a joke, and since I need to sign a bunch of papers, we are looking at flights daily. And I'm praying for a cheap one! 

Regardless of when we actually close or how much cleaning and painting is left, we are leaving on Monday, June 13. Roger has already secured a plane ticket for Sunday, June 12. We will load the uhaul on Sunday afternoon, and hopefully head out early Monday morning. It still seems like a far off dream, but the calendar reminds me that I need to stay focused and busy with the tasks ahead of me! I've been weeding through the stuff we've collected in seven months of living at my parents house. Wow! And every time I go to our storage shed, I'm amazed to discover all the things that I haven't needed nor do I care about any more. There are also a few things in that storage shed that I am really looking forward to having and enjoying again. After a year of not having our own home, I am ready to put down some roots and find a place to call home again. 

Okay, back to other news and updates! I left last Sunday afternoon, May 22, for a short trip to South Dakota. Jen, my sister, teaches school out there. Her school year is done, and the boys have a tradition of coming out to see her for a week after school is over. I wasn't sure if it would work out this year, but since we are still here, I decided to see if we could make it work again. We made about four hours on Sunday before stopping at a hotel with a swimming pool. The kids were thrilled to swim, and it broke up the trip a little bit for me. We had about eight hours to go on Monday, and we made it to Jen's by late afternoon. It was good to visit with my sister, and she does such a good job taking care of my boys. I stayed until Wednesday, and then Emma and I left to return to Wisconsin. I could've stayed the whole week, but it's much easier to pack and go through stuff with one child versus five! Emma and I got on the road around ten am., so we didn't make it all the way back to Wisconsin in one day. She was missing her brothers and wanted someone to read to her! We arrived home around noon on Thursday. It was a special treat to have one on one time with just Emma, and I did really enjoy that. Meanwhile the boys enjoyed camping, fishing, swimming, campfires, and lots of outdoor activities....did they miss me? Probably not! I am very thankful that Jen took the time to have them out at her place, allowed them to eat her out of house and home, and gave them memories for years to come! 

                                                                  Roger's flying picture

I spent the days packing, throwing away stuff, giving away things we don't need, having dinner with a few dear friends, going on a walk with a friend, and trying to focus on the tasks at hand. It seems a little overwhelming at times, but I want us to be ready to go when Roger comes, so I must stick with it! 

My parents graciously agreed to keep Emma while I made plans to pick up the boys on Sunday. Jen and I agreed to meet halfway, so that neither of us had to drive all the way. I again left on Sunday afternoon, without Emma, and headed west. We met in Sioux Falls at a beautiful hotel that we were able to get a deal on. The first question the boys asked was, "Where is Emma?" They did miss her. We spent the evening at the hotel enjoying each other's company, the pool, and the free bikes that were available to ride. We headed our separate directions on Monday morning around eleven. It's a bit easier to travel with the boys rather than Emma. The boys understand quick stops and long stretches without a break. We arrived home around seven pm, and the boys were quite anxious to see Emma and to share all their stories with Nana and Papa. My dad is trying to free up his schedule some over the next few days so he can have more time to spend with the boys. I know the boys will greatly miss all their excursions with Papa. 

Today, Tuesday, was a crazy day! The neighbor came over to cut down the hay in the field next to my parents house. After about five minutes, he came to the door. Apparently a bike had been left in the hayfield, and it was stuck in the roller of the cutter! Oh dear! The bike was junk, but I really could care less about the bike...I really didn't want to invest in a roller for a John Deere Hay cutter! Thankfully, he took the cutte home, and they were able to get the bike out. Our neighbor felt bad about the bike, but I felt terrible about it being in his field. After some discussion, we discovered that the bike had been left in the field from the previous Saturday when some friends had come over. Because the boys were gone all week to South Dakota, they didn't notice the bike missing. However, it did provide an opportunity for some life lessons, being responsible, and making apologies. Thankfully, the cutter seems to be working fine, the neighbors are on good terms with us, and it's behind us now. We did make cookies, and we took a walk over tonight to apologize again. 

Also today, Chandler had an allergic reaction to something! They went with Papa over to a friend's farm, and then they were going fishing. However, Chandler had a reaction to something. I don't know what it was, but his eyes swelled almost shut, his face broke out in hives, and he was miserable! After a shower and dose of Benadryl, he seems much better. They weren't able to get in the fishing trip though as they needed to come home. Oh well, the day is over....Praise the Lord!

Update: June 2, 2014

I didn't get the blog published the other day, so now my news is getting older! We do have a closing date set on the house! Hooray! We are closing on Monday, June 6, at 9:00 am. Please pray that this will go smoothly and quickly! I am flying out there for the closing, as in a whirlwind trip! I'm leaving Sunday afternoon, and I'll be returning on Wednesday morning. Hopefully, I will get a really, really good start on cleaning the house as we will be moving in the following week! I was hoping to have it all painted before we moved in, but I think my expectations are a little too high on that. We will see. I'll be coming back from that trip, to the crazy race of trying to be ready to go when Roger comes on Sunday. We are renting a uhaul, but I'm still praying that God will provide a discount or deal to go along with that! Moving across the country is expensive but necessary! Roger is planning on loading up the uhaul on Sunday afternoon...so, if anyone wants to help, feel free! 

The boys have been spending much time with my dad. I think both my kids and my dad will be depressed when the day comes to say good by. Travis has become a leach in the sense that he is back to asking me where I'm going every five minutes, and he asks me every day if today is the day we are leaving for Maine. I'm trying to keep them as informed as possible, but wow! This is a big change for everyone! Chandler was sick today, as in a bad headache and he threw up once. However, I think it's his sensitive nature to all that is happening. He's been getting up with my dad around 5:30 every morning to sit with him, and Chandler has been in tears at least once a day in the past few days. This change and move is harder than the move to Arizona simply because this is a long term change. When we left for Arizona, we knew it was a short term job. God has opened doors differently on this job, and Roger is prepared, capable, equipped, and excited about this job. I'll adjust and adapt along with our children. We ar excited about the adventures in Maine, living closer to my sister and her husband, and experiencing life on the east coast. However, I'd love to have some familiar faces come visit us! 

God is good, God is great,  God is merciful. We rejoice in Who He is and all that He will continue to do.

 

The Journey Continues

One of my favorite songs: https://youtu.be/HGpu6QBUz7M


As some of our readers may know, Roger managed a surprise visit last week! It was only for "four sleeps", as our children would say, but I am so thankful for any time with him. It would've been twelve weeks on Saturday since the kids have seen their daddy. The boys are doing okay, but we are definitely feeling the effects of separation.




However, I want to write this down in our memory bank. Someday, all we will have is the memories we have written down, and I want to preserve these for our children...and as a reminder that I didn't go crazy! (Stop laughing!

Fun with friends!

My heart overflows!

From my thoughtful friend 

Last Wednesday, Travis had a follow visit with the dentist concerning his dental surgery. I decided to take Chandler along also as he has a spacer that has been bothering him. The appointment was in Madison, and it was at 12:45 pm. We made good time to the dentist office, and the appointment itself only took about twenty minutes. The boys were ready to be out of the car for a bit, so we wandered around a store for a few minutes. As we were leaving, Roger called. He told me that he had something special planned for us, and that he had sent something to my email. The best surprise I could think of was that he was emailing me his flight itinerary for his visit. I quickly checked my email, and I discovered that I was wrong. Roger had booked a hotel for us in Oshkosh, and it was the reservation number. I knew the boys would be excited about staying in a hotel and going swimming, but I really was disappointed that it wasn't Roger. When Roger called a few minutes later, he asked what I thought of the surprise. I actually started crying as I told him I was not very excited about the surprise. We still had one more day of school, I would be taking five kids swimming by myself,and I missed him! Roger tried to sway my doubts, and he said that he just wanted to give me and the kids a bit of a get-a-way. This hotel had a very nice pool for kids, a good breakfast, and it would be different.




I knew that the kids would really enjoy an over night at the hotel, so I knew I needed to get over my disappointment and face reality. I picked up a quick lunch with Chandler and Travis and then we headed back home to pick up the other kids. As I drove home, I started to have a sneaky suspicion that Roger was trying to fool me and he really was in Wisconsin. However, in case I was wrong, I did not say anything to the kids.






At home we quickly took care of JoEllen (the calf), packed up our swim clothes and toothbrushes, and headed to the hotel in Oshkosh. Chandler told me that he was really excited about staying overnight in a hotel, but he really wanted to see his daddy. Garett was worried that we would have to hurry back from the hotel to do our last day of school. I had already decided though, that we would be done with school. The older two had actually met the requirements for the state about a week before, but I wanted Wyatt to get in his last few days. Thursday became a field trip day, and we would be done with the 2015-2016 school year. Oh, Hallelujah!






We arrived at the hotel at about 4:30pm., and the kids were all ready to check in and go swimming. It was a little bit like trying to herd cats to get everyone to pay attention and grab something out of the truck! We did it! When we got to the desk, the clerk said that Roger had already paid for it online, so we could enjoy our stay. We headed down the hall and to our room. As we opened the door, the boys immediately noticed that Roger's iPad was on the counter. "But where's Daddy?", asked Wyatt. Chandler and Garett discovered him first in the bedroom. Oh what joyful hugs and voices rang out! Everyone started talking at once, "Daddy, the Schilders have a dog?", "Dad, we are going camping!", "Roko coming?", "Hey, are you going swimming with us?" "When are we going to Maine?" Oh, it was a delight to my heart to watch them all talk to dad at one time!






Everyone was pretty excited about going swimming, so we did that first. The boys swam for over an hour before we decided to get some supper and head to church. The boys have a few weeks left of the kids program at church and they are really enjoying that. After church we came back to swim some more! The boys and Emma are part fish, so they go swimming every chance they get!






The next morning the boys were up early for more swimming! We swam, ate breakfast, and check out of the hotel. Garett did not want to go home, which is unusual for him. Upon asking him some questions, I discovered that he was worried that he'd have to do school while his daddy was home! We had such a fun day as a family, and I soaked up the memories, the kisses from my husband, and delighted in the fact that they all wanted to be with daddy! We went to Lowes to look at some paint colors for our new house, we went to the sporting goods store to look at fishing stuff, we went to Sam's club for lunch and to pick up a few items, and it was a good time.






We arrived home at about 3:30pm., and around four, the lobsters arrived. Roger's boss told roger that he was sending our family some live lobster to eat. We had four very excited boys to see the lobsters! They had just been caught the day before, so they were very fresh! We had twelve of them, and we knew we couldn't eat them all at one meal, so we invited the neighbors to join us for supper. It was our first experience with lobsters, and it was fun and different. I'm not sure I'm crazy about lobster, but it was free, and I ate it.






Friday was the boys camping trip with Papa for the end of the school year. The boys really wanted Roger to come fishing and camping with them, and I know Roger wanted to spend time with them. The boys enjoyed showing Roger all the new things they've learned and are working on. Emma spent most of her time saying, "daddy, come." She was eager to show him all of her new learnings as well.






Saturday was our last day with Roger. It was hard to enjoy the day to its fullest as I knew that Roger had to leave by 2:30 am, to make his flight in Milwaukee. We had a cookout at the Schilder's house, and several of our close friends and family came. It was a good time of fellowship and since we don't know if Roger will be coming back to move us out, it was perhaps his last time to see some of his friends.






Roger's brothers were willing to take him to the airport early Sunday morning, so that was helpful to us. It was a challenging morning for me as we were all out-of-sorts a little bit. Everyone was a little depressed and emotional, but we made it, by the grace of God. It didn't help matters that our family picture for the church directory was on Sunday morning...and we were missing Roger!






I had already made arrangements about two weeks ago, to go to visit our friends in Milwaukee. The Longsines have children that are close in ages to our children, so I knew it would be s good distraction for them. We left on Sunday afternoon, and we made good time to Milwaukee. The boys were able to play for a bit before church. We stayed with them thru Tuesday afternoon, and the kids spent the time outside. They rode the bike trail, played catch, rode bikes, played football, and enjoyed their time with their friends. It was enjoyable to have some time for conversations with Beka and Jared as we used to be close neighbors. I am thankful for their friendship and love for our family.






Tuesday was my birthday...and it was not as exciting at when I turned thirteen! Our friends, the Longsines, took us all out to Chick-fila for lunch. That was a special treat, and it was fun. All the kids were tired out after their visit with friends, so it was a quiet ride home. My parents took us out to supper for my birthday, so I didn't wash any dishes or make any meals on my birthday. I'm thankful for all my friends that sent texts or messages wishing me a happy birthday. It was a bit depressing without Roger here, but he did send me a card and a gift card for my birthday. I did get a smile out of all the people on Facebook who wished me a happy birthday and told me they hoped it was my best one ever. Um....that would be awkward to say it was my best birthday ever and Roger isn't here!!






We are enjoying the days without school schedules, but we are still reading. The boys have been working with my dad, cutting grass, and living outside.






In other news, we have a date set! We are leaving Wisconsin on June 13th unless God clearly directs otherwise. Although this is extremely exciting for me, it does hold some sorrow with it. These relationships that we've cultivated over the past few years have grown dear to my heart. We will be 21 hours away from my parents, and I know the boys are going to miss the experiences they have with my dad.






We are closing on our new house on June 1, Lord willing. We are very excited about being together again as a family. The house does need some painting and cleaning, so Roger will be working on getting that done before we come out. Please pray that Roger would be able to coordinate his work schedule so that he can come out to get us.






For those of you that have asked about my health concerns, they are still concerning. I did see a different Doctor this past week, and I feel like he at least took the time to listen to me. After hearing my concerns, he agreed to take a thyroid check as well as check some vitamin levels. He did tell me that he felt that stress and depression are probably greater factors than I realize in this equation. After hearing about our situation, he asked, "Are you depressed?" To which I replied, "I think we would needmarriage counseling if I told you my husband has been gone for thirteen weeks, we have five kids, and I wasn't depressed!!" I don't feel overly depressed, but I do know that life is a bit daunting right now, which is why I don't do life in my own power, but I am constantly reminded to depend on my Lord and Savior for help. God has sustained us this far in our journeys, and He is certainly not giving up on me now! One of my favorite Bible verses states, "When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I."






One funny moment: I was discussing someone on the phone with my sister, Jen. I said that this particular person seems to have lost all her marbles. Wyatt interrupts and says, "Well, she can come here. We have lots of marbles she can have!" (He proceeded to find the jar of marbles!)






Also this week, while in the grocery store, Emma was pushing a child size cart. Travis tried to take the cart away from her, to which she replied, "Stop it, Punk!" I have told our children on an occasion or two to stop acting like a punk....meaning someone who is disrespectful, unkind or a brat. Emma must have decided to try out her new word. I may have burst out laughing as Travis was put in his place. (Before you hyper-ventilate that I'm letting my two-year-old call people names, I did take care of the situation.) However, life is fun!

My Heart is Full!

I have many, many, updates on the happenings in our lives. I hope that I am not overly confusing, but sometimes the details seem right in my mind but not on paper!

First of all, we are wading through the loan process procedure! I didn't realize that they needed to know the last ten years of our lives, how we've spent our money, and all the other paperwork! I'm exaggerating a little bit, but you get the idea. Roger called me last week to say that we needed to find the tax information from 2014. Oh boy! A smart person would've put those kinds of important papers in a special place. Well, I'm a smart person. I did put them in a safe place, I just could not, for the life, of me remember where the safe place was at! We prayed very specifically that God would help us find these papers. On Wednesday, I took the four boys with me to the storage unit. The only thing I knew to do was to start opening boxes and looking through them. I brought along a different color of packing tape so I would know which boxes we had opened. Wow! We got rid of a ton of stuff before we packed up our last home, but I was still amazed by all the things we have that we don't need! We opened box after box after box. It was tiring and exhausting and challenging with four boys. The boys wanted to be helpful, but there is only so much space inside the shed! After we had opened about seventy boxes, and we still were not any closer to finding the papers, I was beyond frustrated. At that moment, Chandler pops up and says, "If I was an important paper, I'd probably be in that safety security box over there." I was like, "What box?!" He then points to the cardboard box that has a picture of a security box on the outside. I told Chandler that I didn't know that we had one of those, and perhaps it was just a box we had picked up somewhere for packing stuff in. However, Chandler and Garett started looking around, and sure enough, they found that box! I do not even remember buying that box, but I'm sure we did so we could store our important papers. The bigger question was....where is the key? God is so good, and He never ceases to amaze me. In the truck, was a container of keys that we didn't know what they went to. We tried the keys, found the right one, and
opened the box. YES! It was our important papers! I had four excited boys, and I was certainly
delighted to have found those papers. We went to the post office to ship them overnight express to Maine. After we had paid, we found out that the post office doesn't actually guarantee overnight delivery to that part of Maine! The earliest they would guarantee it was Friday...oh well, in the mail it went!

I think, perhaps, the most challenging part is over! All the papers are submitted to the bank, and we are just waiting on them to figure it all out. Meanwhile, life continues for us as we wrap up another school year, spent odles and odles of time outside, and wait for God to continue to open all the right doors.

On Friday, we finished up school early enough to meet some friends at the park. It was a beautiful day, and the kids were delighted to spend time outside and with friends.  After the park, we went over to a friends house so Emma could take a nap. Chandler and Garett worked on her yard, and I was
proud of how they stuck to the job even when they were tired. My boys are growing up! Gretchen
offered to keep the kids so that I could sneak away to a coffee date with a friend. However, we canned the idea of a coffee date and went for a fourteen mile bike ride instead! It was so much fun! I'm so glad that Jenna and I were able to do that. She's a mom to two littles, and I have five, so bike riding is pretty much out of the question at this stage of life. It was wonderful to have a visit, enjoy God's creation, and get in exercise...it was a profitable two-hour visit!

Saturday was another fishing adventure for the boys. My dad has decided that Travis comes along on fishing trips just because he doesn't want to be left out, not because he likes it! Travis usually spends his time working with Papa at untangling his fishing line. Chandler, on the other hand,  usually has a fish on his hook before my dad gets all the gear out of the car. On this fishing trip, the boys brought along their friend, Ben, and my dad invited a few young boys that he knows that could use some good influence in their lives. Travis decided to stay home, since the two girls from the farm next to my parents house came over to play. So, seven boys went along on the fishing trip, and they came home
with a pile of fish! They were dirty, smelly, and full of stories! It took quite a bit of time to clean all
those fish, and the boys were tired before the job was done. I'm thankful that my dad took the
opportunity and time to take them fishing. These are the memories that the boys are storing up.

Sunday was a full day of a showering of love. Roger sent me a beautiful flower arrangement and a gift card to a coffee shop. It was a beautiful expression of his love for me and the kids. We went to church and the ladies had a mother/daughter tea during the Sunday school hour. Since Emma is only two, and I've been mothering her 24/7, I put her in the nursery. And no, I don't feel guilty about that! I had a great visit with my good friends, Amy and Gretchen. It was a good time. I ended up working in the nursery with Emma for the next service anyways as the nursery was short on workers.

While I was in the nursery, my pastor's wife and friend, came down to the nursery. She said that I was needed upstairs in the service. Apparently, I had been awarded a certificate for mother of the year with young children. What? I feel like it's all I can do to to keep them alive some times, and I know many, many, moms with young children that are doing a better job than I am! Nevertheless, I am thankful and blessed. The church awarded me with a gift certificate, and it was a special blessing on a day that I desperately missed my man.

After church, we went to the park with some friends, enjoyed the afternoon with our kids, and Gretchen and I were able to squeeze in a trip for a pedicure. It was a special Mother's Day, and it will be a memory for years to come. Although the day was fabulous and wonderful, nothing can replace Roger.

Wednesday: Roger surprised me today! He flew in for a few days! We are soaking up our family time. I'll write about the special story later!

Onward and Forward!

                          

     

Since another week has careened past me, I'll just highlight a few of last weeks events. Travis had surgery, I made a supper meal for over 240 people, and we are under contract to purchase a house!!

First of all, Travis had surgery last Tuesday...April 26. His original surgery date was May 22, but they had a cancellation and asked if we wanted to take it. That was completely and utterly of the Lord's perfect timing! Travis had been picking and messing with his teeth for the past week or more, but when I asked him if they hurt or if he wanted to take some medicine, the answer was always no. However, I could tell his teeth were starting to bother him greatly. Thankfully, my mom was willing to keep the other four kids, so I just had to take Travis to Madison for his appointment. His arrival time at the hospital was 11:40 am, and I was ready to get him in the car. Since he wasn't supposed to eat or drink anything, I figured that the car was the easiest place to watch him every second! My friend, Autumn, was able to come along with me. Having a friend along makes the drive go by so much faster! We arrived at the hospital early, so we had a few minutes to wait. The nurse came for Travis about 11:45 and we walked back to the pre-op room. The nurse had me sign some papers and took all of Travis's vital signs. She handed me a big fluffy white gown to put on over my clothes, and I did. A while later the anesthesiologist came in to talk to us. He explained the procedure process, and said that sometimes the kids can twitch or make funny noises,etc., as they are going under. He then remarked that he saw that I was dressed to come back to the room while Travis went under. At that point in time, I realized that I had on this big fluffy suit because I was going back with Travis! I would, of course, be excorted  out before they began surgery, but I realized that I was way out of my league! I asked if I had to go back with Travis, and he replied, "oh, no. You don't have too, some parents decided that they don't want to watch their child going under the anesthesia." Yes, yes, that's me! I recognize my limitations, and unless you want me to be in a pile on the floor, it would be best if I didn't go back with Travis! Oh whew! I was much relieved to have that cleared up for me. If Roger had been there, I'm sure he would've gone back with Travis, and I certainly could've made myself do it....I think. 

It took a little bit for the doctor to come back to discuss the surgery with us, and Travis was ready to go home. He was starting to get a little anxious, but right then,  they came to take him back. He willingly went with them, and I went to the waiting room. They got started with the surgery about 12:50 and he was done a few minutes after three pm. It was a long afternoon, but it went well. The doctor explained that she didn't know how Travis had gone this long without having to come into the dentist. He had a rather large abcess on the roof of his mouth where one of the teeth were infected. Travis did great coming out from under the anesthesia, and we were discharged about an hour afterwards. He was tired and groggy, but he was in good spirits. We are both thankful that it is behind us. He has a follow up visit next week, and hopefully, everything is as it should be. 

Later last week, I spent a good portion of my day preparing for a meal for a teen rally at our church. Every year, our church hosts an event called, "Teen Mania". It's for teens around the state and they come and hear preaching, have fellowship, play games, and be wild and crazy, without any regrets. I was asked to do the Friday night meal for this event. We were expecting about 250 for supper, and I think I served about 240. We made "walking tacos". It's a pretty simple meal of a small bag of chips per person, taco meat and toppings on top, and you can eat it right out of the bag. In preparation for this, I browned and seasoned over 53 pounds of meat. I used a variety of beef, and pork, and even some version. I had a great group of ladies to work with on Friday, and everything went as smoothly as I anticipated...which is always a blessing! My dad took the boys up to the hunting cabin for camping, but Travis didn't want to go. Emma and Travis stayed with me, and on Friday, my friend, Gretchen, graciously watched them while I was working on the meal. I am so thankful for her! It was a long day, and lots of work, but I'm thankful that I had the opportunity to serve at this event one last time. Our time here is quickly coming to a close, and everything is becoming close to being the "last time". 

And last, but not least, is our housing situation! Well...we are under contract! We are praising the Lord about this exciting event! We had the housing inspection for the house that we thought we were going to walk away from last Wednesday. There wasn't anything too concerning in the inspection report, but we still signed a release from contract. Since we weren't willing to pay any more money to get anything fixed, and they had said that they wouldn't pay any more, we decided to walk away from the house. I know Roger was discouraged as he felt we were back at square one. I didn't know what to think, I wasn't thrilled about the house, but there was nothing wrong with it that could not be fixed either. However, God had another plan. The people selling the house decided that they were willing to work with us. They asked us how low they would need to go on the house so we would take it. Roger told them to throw out a number at us, and see if we would be willing to take it. The sellers need to sell their house as they are building a new one, this house has been on the market for 180 days, and we were their only offer. They came back with a number, and after much prayer, discussion, and seeking counsel, we accepted their number! I am excited to see what God continues to do. We don't have a closing date yet, but we are certainly ready to be back together as a family!! The verse that just keeps coming to mind is "But my God shall supply all your needs..." God is so good to us, and we are rejoicing in this step.

In other news blips, we have eight days left of school. I am pretty sure that I am more excited than my children...and they are very excited! My dad has been teaching the boys how to use the rotatiller, and they have been busy mowing the grass as well. They also went fishing and caught several fish. They are learning how to clean them, and I hope they learn how to cook them! The boys are thrilled to be moving to Maine, but they are very unsure about leaving all that is familiar and dear to them in Wisconsin. I know that God is preparing and protecting the hearts of our children just as He is working in ours. Emma just wants to see daddy, and it's been almost nine weeks. It's been a long time for all of us. We are pray that Roger will be able to maybe squeeze in a quick visit sometime soon, but he has been very busy at his job. 

Our love to you all  and Happy Mother's Day!

                         

Maine Adventures, Upcoming Surgery, and Maybe a House!

Honestly, it's really hard to know where to even begin! I left on Sunday afternoon for a trip up to Maine. We had a contract on a house, and I was coming out to see it and to spend time with Roger. The flight was uneventful to Boston, but there was a bit of a pickle in Boston. I had to switch terminals to get on a much smaller plane to Rockland, Maine. The timing was going to be tight, so I hurried to make the plane. I did manage to arrive at the right terminal and get my boarding pass. However, there is no hurrying up security, so it was getting close to leaving time! I managed to squeeze thru security and found the right gate. I quickly asked the attendant if I was on time for the flight. He replied that I  had a few minutes to spare. Yes! I could use the bathroom! I went to use the bath room, and I came back to find the passengers in line! I quickly hopped in line, and I handed the guy the ticket. These are much, much smaller planes...like six passenger planes. The ticket agent guy announced that there were too many people in line...uh, oh! He then discovered that the problem was me! I was getting on the wrong flight!! I have no idea where that plane was going, but it wasn't going to Rockland, Maine! Oh well, I did get on the right plane eventually! 

Roger was waiting to pick me up at the airport. I flew directly into the airport that he flies out of, so that was really neat. It was so good to see him again, and I remembered all the reasons I miss him so much! We stopped for coffee, and then we headed up to Stockton Springs to see Josh and Hannah. They graciously opened up our home to us, and it was nice to stay with family for a few days. 

On Monday we drove out to see the house that we have an offer on...and that's when the train derailed! I wasn't in love with the house, although in all the pictures I had seen, it looked perfect! However, something was off about the house. I can't even explain it, but something did not feel right to me. I think I was expecting a nice, clean, tidy house since that's what the pictures made me feel it would be like. But the house needed a deep cleaning, lots of fresh paint, and a few other things that I didn't care for. There really isn't anything wrong with the house, per se, but something did not feel right. Since our realtor was unavailable to show us the house, we had a different realtor walk us through the home. I did not say anything at the time, but Roger could tell I wasn't in love. Roger and I were unable to really discuss the house at the moment though, as I was spending time with my sister that afternoon. 

Hannah and I had a wonderful time together. We spent time visiting Augusta, and I enjoyed visiting with her. God had a perfect plan in bringing us to Maine, and allowing it to be at the same time that Hannah and Josh are in Maine. We are definitely looking forward to spending time with them. 

On Monday night, Roger and I discussed the house for hours! He's been looking for five weeks now, and he knows exactly what's available. I haven't been looking at all...except at pictures...and I wasn't thrilled with the house. There is nothing about it that can't be fixed, but I'm just not sure how much effort I want to put into it. Unfortunately, our realtor was out of town with his daughter, so our communication with him was limited. Roger did call and talk to him and expressed some of our concerns. 

Tuesday morning was spent driving around the country side driving past the houses that Roger has already visited. There are definite limitations to what our budget will allow us to buy! If the yard was nice, the house was a mess; if the house was nice, the yard was a wreck. Is there a happy medium out here?! After a couple of hours of doing that, we were both stressed and our blood pressure was rising. We decided to have lunch and take a break. Because of Roger's job, he has connections in the flying world of Maine. This worked out well for us as we went to the airport to see about getting on a flight out to the island of Vinalhaven. There was a plane available to take us out there, so we hopped aboard and took the ten minute flight out there. It was a breathtakingly beautiful flight, and I loved seeing the places that Roger flies into. The airport is on the far side of the island, so we had about a three mile walk into town. It was a beautiful walk, and it would be a great place to take the kids. We walked thru the downtown of Vinalhaven, and then someone stopped us. Because Roger's work delivers mail on the island, there was someone from the airport there. They asked how we were planning on getting back to the mainland. Roger replied that we were planning on buying tickets to take the ferry back across. However, since the mail had come over on the ferry that morning in the airport vehicle, it needed to get back to the mainland. This worked out perfectly for us as one person could ride back fin the mail van for free,  and we only needed to buy one ferry ticket...sweet! So, we rode the ferry back to the mainland, delivered the empty mail boxes to the post office, and went back to the airport. I'm telling you, it's a different world up here! 

After the ferry ride, there was a brief rainstorm. On the way back from the airport, we saw a beautiful rainbow. It was just another reminder that God is with us every single step of the way. It was pretty amazing! 

                       

      

Roger's boss had given Roger some money to take me on a nice date while I was here. We decided to take Hannah and Josh to supper with us, and we ate at a delicious little restaurant in downtown Belfast. We enjoyed great company, delicious food, and made a memory. It was a good afternoon/evening after a rather stressful morning! 

Wednesday was spent driving by more houses, reviewing our options, and trying to figure out if we were going to try to get out of our contract, or if this is really the house God has for us. We called our realtor, and I called my friend, Jenn. Jenn had been our realtor when we sold our house in Wisconsin. She was an amazing realtor, and I realized again what a special blessing it was to have her as our realtor! She offered a few suggestions, and we put together a plan of action. On thing that Roger and I agreed on was the fact that we had two very different pairs of eyes looking at the same house! Roger was looking at it through eyes that have looked at 22 other houses in the area. He's thinking, "Wow! Compared to all the others, this one is great!" I'm looking at it saying, "Is this all our money will buy?" Do you see the problem? 

Our realtor came back into town on Wednesday night. We had thought about trying to change my plane ticket; but since we are still in a contract with house number one, and we have looked at the options of houses available, we decided that I would come back to Wisconsin as planned. 

                           

We met with our realtor on Thursday morning. We discussed the house in great depth, our options, and he showed us another home that came on the market. After much prayer and many, many, conversations, we are going ahead with the home inspection. Once that is done, we will submit any request asking them to fix some things and trying to renegotiate the price. If they agree, then we've found our house; and if not, then we keep looking. This is a huge step of faith simply because we have no idea what they are going to do. Can I be happy with this house? Absolutely! I don't think it's a house where God answered my prayers and did "exceeding abundantly above all we ask or think", but God doesn't have to answer all my prayers the way that I think He should. I feel like we are in the story of Gideon where he throws out the fleece before the Lord, and then waits on God's direction. Here we are...waiting! 

So, while it was wonderful to see my husband, and have face-to-face conversations, it was a long four days. It was mentally, physically, and spiritually exhausting on both of us. We are making decisions that wil impact our entire family. God has shown Himself strong every step of this journey, and I'm clinging to the fact that He has a perfect plan in all of this. God allowed so many details to come together for Roge to get this particular job in Maine, and I have truly been blessed to look back at all that God has done. I know He is not finished yet! 

In other news, Travis will be having dental surgery on Tuesday. The dentist office called, while I was in Maine,and said that they had a cancellation. Because of the state of his teeth, and the anxiety he's been having over this upcoming event, I do believe this is another instance of God's perfect timing in our lives. I'm thankful that my mom was able to take Travis to his appointment for his pre-surgery physical! My parents were real troopers in keeping the kids while I was away, taking Travis to his appointment, and keeping up with the schoolwork. I am very thankful for them. Both Travis and I will be glad to get this behind us, even though Tuesday will be a long day!

Wyatt turned seven while I was away. His birthday was on Wednesday, and it was hard for me to miss it. I'm thankful that my wonderful friend, Gretchen, took my kids, made a cake for Wyatt, and helped him celebrate his special day. My parents took the kids out for supper the night before, but they were all excited to go to their friends house. These kids are growing so incredibly fast, and I feel like every time I blink, something is changing! I am looking forward to having a birthday celebration with Wyatt simply because it doesn't seem like he is seven yet, and maybe a birthday party will help convince me! 

So, that's where we are at with our housing situation. To review please read the following:

1) I am still in Wisconsin with the kids. 

2) Roger is in Maine working his job. 

3) Yes, we are still happily married, and we plan to keep it that way. 

4) Yes, I do miss my husband. I miss him more that words can say. Just because I do the right things, smile, and say the right words, does not mean that I am fine. But I can promise....God's grace is sufficient. 

5) Someday this will all be behind us. And yes, God does have a house for us! 

Thank you for your love and prayers, Sarah