Day # Depression? “Negative Nellie?”

I’ll be upfront and honest. If you’re looking for an encouraging upbeat post, you’ll want to read something else! I almost didn’t even write a blog post tonight, as I do not want to be a discouragement to anyone or a “Negative Nellie”.  But today marks the 38th day of blog writing, and as I am still making our kids journal, so am I!  Today was a hard, long day for me. A lot of emotional moments, tear bursts, and just thinking about so.many.thoughts.

Roger was working today, and I woke up feeling the tentacles of depression threading to sweep me down. Drinking coffee and sitting in the sunshine streaming through the window did help as well as reading my Bible all helped, but depression is pressing. Depression is often not talked about or discussed, but I’m willing to wager that most people struggle with it from time to time. In fact, I think depression can be used in a good way as it can force us to stop and think. Now then we must chose to reign in those thoughts with the Lord’s help and focus on things that are honest, true, lovely, of good report, etc. I am thankful that most of the time depression for me comes in like a wave but it’s not generally something that I struggle with for days or weeks on end. I would consider myself to be a pretty cheery person in personality, but there are moments!

I was very thankful for the sunshine earlier today and Emma and I went on a bike ride together. I was also able to stop and talk to our neighbor for a bit, and I do appreciate the opportunities that God gives us to interact with others. Our neighbor is older, but he said he was doing well. He’s getting tired of being at home, but he said that the noise of the children in the woods never bothers him. That’s a good thing, because these kids can be loud! Today the kids spent the morning outside blazing trails and making forts. The boys have been busy making a trail to go around our entire property, so they’ve been busy! Their ambition is to make the trail wide enough to ride their bikes on the trail. I’m happy that they are content to be outside yelling at each other, raking leaves off their trails, and playing together. Brothers can be the best of friends...at times.

I got a phone call this morning from a friend of mine and she was passing on some news to me. The news wasn’t exactly delightful, and I was already a bit “down”. I could feel the tears pricking the back of my eyes, and my voice must have reflected my dismay as she asked if I was okay. I would consider myself to be a fairly upbeat person most of the time, but today I did not feel like myself! She prayed before closing up the phone conversation, but I didn’t even bother to try to pray. I knew that I would just be a blubbery mess of tears. I’m telling you, it was a down day!

I love our children, and I don’t mind being home with them. I just like having the OPTION to go somewhere if I’d like. I like to visit with people face to face, and like everyone else I didn’t sign up for these past five weeks! I’d like to take a break from it all, but like everyone else, it’s not optional. Onward! I just keep having this running list of questions in my head....what will be the outcome of this? Does it matter if we quit school now? Will it be hard for our children to get back into the habit of going to church and Sunday school? Are they being encouraged through this? What will the summer look like? Are our children learning enough through all this? Am I being a good mom? Did we do enough or too little today? Did everyone read? Should I make a grocery list?  Oh, more food? Dishes? Laundry? Jobs? School next year? Oh, focus on today? What? Where? Huh?

Finally, I just threw in the towel. I cried a lot, wiped my tears, went outside for another walk, made a cup of coffee, listened to some worship music, and continued on. I had grabbed a piece of laundry off the clean unfolded clothes on my bed to use to wipe my tears. Then I realized that I was using Emma’s Peppa Pig undies to wipe my eyes. Oh well!`  Life does go on, and it will continue to do so until the Lord calls me home.

The only thing certain in life is death. It’s not how long we get to stay on this earth but whether or not we are ready to die.  And I am. I’m not morbid, and I’m not looking for death, but I have absolutely no fear of death. Many years ago, I settled my eternal destiny. I asked the Lord to forgive my sins. I confessed Him as Lord of my life. I admitted that I was a sinner, and that I needed the blood of Jesus to take away my sins. And just like that, my eternal destiny is settled.

Maine news: This is in the little print, but I’ll announce to you that the number of recovered cases is GREATER than the number of active cases! That’s good news! It could totally change tomorrow, but I’m going to rejoice in that tonight. We had an additional death in our state, so that brings the total number of deaths to 36. We have 443 recoveries and 409 active cases.

Forts

Trails 

Clearing trails

Vitamin D 

A long day! 

Day # Birthdays and Quarantine

Happy Birthday to this boy! 

Today was Wyatt’s 11th Birthday! Birthdays and quarantines are not the best of mixes, but it is what it is! Wyatt is our serious and studious son. Sometimes it’s hard to get him to open up, but I love to hear him talk about things that matter to him. He is quiet but resourceful. We love him dearly, and we are so very thankful for him.

Wyatt and I took a meal to one of our teachers in our school. And we were able to get lunch together and take lunch to Roger at the airport. Roger was working today, and then he had a meeting following work, so he did miss out on Wyatt’s birthday supper. Wyatt is a good sport about many things though, and he adapted and adjusted as we went throughout the day.

The sunshine was lovely this morning, and we were able to get outside for a good chunk of the day. Today marked the first day of “spring break”. Technically the kids do not have school, but I am trying to make sure we do a little bit every day just to keep some semblance of routine in our lives.  I made Easter baskets for the kids today. I know that last week was Easter, but I also knew that we wouldn’t be going anywhere or probably doing anything amazingly fun over Spring break. I decided to save the baskets for today, and that was a good idea. The boys got tool sets to share, and of course, food! I buy gifts as I see them on sale throughout the year. The tool sets were actually Christmas sets, but once the red ribbon and packaging is removed, you can’t tell!  Now they have screwdrivers, measuring tapes, hammers and wrenches to help with their projects.

Today our Haiti missions trip was officially cancelled. I was very disappointed to hear that it is officially postponed. I mean, I knew that it was highly likely and probably going to get cancelled, but I was hoping and praying that we would be able to go. However, with all the travel restraints and uncertainty it seemed best to just officially cancel the trip. The Haitian people are in great need of food. If the Haitian pastors are saying that their circumstances are tough, then the situation must be dire! Parakaleo is working with some of the national Haitian pastors to try to figure out how to meet the needs of the people during these difficult days. I already had about half of the cost of the trip sent to Parakaleo, and I gave it to Parakaleo to use as they see fit today. If God wants me to go to Haiti next year, He will provide the funds for me as I needed. He always provides! Some of the money of my Haiti missions trip had been provided by some friends of ours. I called them this afternoon to make sure that they were okay if I gave away the funds to Parakaleo. They were fine with that, and it was so good to talk to them. These are very, very dear friends of ours that we love greatly! It was a special blessing to talk to them today. If you would like to donate to Parakaleo, you can do so Here. We are so blessed in America to have a roof over our head, clothes to wear and food to eat. Not all people in the world have the same amenities that we take for granted. Please keep our Haitian friends in your prayers.


Honestly, I am a bit discouraged tonight. I don’t even watch the national news as it’s hard enough to keep up with the news in our own state! It’s depressing to see so many decisive opinions shared on social media, and everyone having a different opinion. I have an opinion also, but if you want to know it, you’ll have to ask me! All I ask for today is that regardless of your opinion of state or government authorities that you will pray for our leaders. Pray for our country. Pray for our communities, churches, schools and families. We must continue to be faithful to pray even when we wonder if it’s working! Stay faithful to prayer and His Word. And pray believing (I’m talking to myself too!)

Maine news: We have 35 deaths reported from Coronavirus. 414 people have recovered and 426 active cases.

Emma’s outfit choice

A little school work 

Love this boy! 

Sunday Sunshine! Outdoor Photos!

Sunday Sunshine! I am so, so thankful for the sunshine today. When my friend, Allison, sent me her daily text asking what was the good news for the day, I came up with sunshine. Sunshine chases away doom and gloom, and sunshine can put a whole new perspective on life.

I woke up with a headache this morning. The kind that makes it hard to turn your head because your head hurts. I drank water and coffee, but still the headache lingered for most of the day. I went outside for a nice long Sunday morning walk (because who drives anywhere on Sundays anymore?!). My headache did not go away but it sure was nice to spend some time praying and talking to Jesus.

We attended our online church service. And wow, do we miss our church fellowship! As most of you are also attending online church, you are probably also tired of it. It’s a blessing to have the technology to hear God’s Word preached, and to hear so many sermons available, but we are definitely missing the face to face interaction. Today marked the fifth week that we have missed church fellowship together, and it’s hard! I know that many of you are also experiencing the same struggles, so I am praying for you and your church families also.

The rest of the day we spent outside. We went on three different hikes. None of them were very long, but it was nice to see much of the Maine coast in our area. We certainly are enjoying these moments of spending time together as a family. I am so thankful that we can be outside!

I asked Travis to take a picture of Roger and I. I told him that I wanted to look skinny in the picture. Travis proceeds to take a photo, looks at it and promptly scrunches up his nose and says, “You aren’t going to like that one Mom, it doesn’t make you look very skinny!” I love this kid! He is so honest! 

I love this picture of Wyatt and I! 

Day # Dump Adventures and a Goosebump Experience

One day at a time! It’s been a very long month...but every day is one day closer! 

Saturday...a day to dress up to go to the dump! Just kidding! However, the dump is one place that we do go to every week! Roger was working today, so Garett helped me with the trash. Actually, I just drive the vehicle. Garett is responsible for putting the trash into the trash bags (you have to use a certain color of trash bags for certain dumping stations). At our dump you have to use purple bags, and a roll of ten bags cost $20.00. So we certainly work to get those bags as full as possible! Garett has become very responsible about gathering up the trash, sorting the recyclables (which is no longer required), and putting all the trash in the van. I am just responsible for driving Garett to the dump. At the dump, Garett takes out the garbage  bags and sorts all the recyclables- except now everything goes into one big dumpster so no more sorting. You kinda get the feeling that the people are the dump are now like, “Forget saving the earth. Dump everything quick and get your germs out of here!” I’m not a fan of masks because you can’t tell if people are smiling anymore!

On the way to the dump, we had an interesting experience. We passed by an older gentleman on the road that was holding out his thumb to indicate that he needed a ride. I NEVER pick up hitchhikers-ever! However, when we passed the older man, I got the distinct feeling that I should stop and see if the man needed a ride. I mentioned to Garett that maybe we should’ve stopped to see if the man needed a ride. Garett looked at me as if I had grown another head, as that is just so out of character for me. We continued on to the dump, dropped off our trash, and headed back home. I still had the distinct feeling that I couldn’t shake that I should see if the old man needed a ride. We passed by him again on the way home, and shortly after we passed him, I told Garett that I was going to turn around and see if the man needed a ride. This was a short, older gentleman carrying a bag of groceries. Garett could’ve easily handled any situation that might have gotten weird. However, I knew that this feeling was of the Holy Spirit, and that we were supposed to help this man. I turned the van around (again) and headed back to where the man was walking. I rolled down the window and asked him if he needed a ride. He was so surprised, but said that he needed a ride about four miles back to his house. He climbed in the van, and explained that his car has been broken down. He had walked down to the local grocery store and was headed home. Listen...I am telling you that this whole situation was of the Lord. As we were driving him to his home, he started talking to me about some of his life story. He was a Christian! He explained to me how he and his wife had homeschooled their kids during their kids schooling years, but then had sent two of his children to a local Christian school. It was not our Christian school, but I know the Christian school that he was referring to. He knew about the school that we send our kids too, and he told about how he felt that these recent events were signs of the end times. I told him that while I totally did not disagree with him, I was still praying the Scripture that states, “If my people, which are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and turn from their wicked way, then will I hear from Heaven and heal their land.” Do I think that these are signs of the end times? Perhaps...but let me tell you that I am storming the gates of Heaven asking God to give us mercy and grace, which we don’t deserve, but I am asking God for those things! The man agreed that we should pray for God to give our land mercy and grace. He was very thankful for a ride home, and the last words he told me were, “We all need to be a witness for Jesus. Thank you for being that.” I still get goosebumps thinking about the whole situation. This was a moment where I could not escape the Holy Spirit’s prompting, and Garett was able to see God at work in a mighty way. I am praying that this example sticks in Garett’s mind as an example of the Holy Spirit at work. When I was telling Roger the story on the way back home, he replied how that he knew that the Holy Spirit was directing me. It’s just so out of character for me to pick up a hitchhiker, and Roger reminded me of the verse in Proverbs...”The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her...” I’m not always so tuned into the Holy Spirit’s prompting, but today God provided a special blessing for Garett and I.

I dropped Garett off at home, and headed to pick up a few groceries. Who am I kidding?! Not a few groceries...a lot of groceries! While I was gone, my friend Renee, dropped off some cupcakes at our house. The kids were thrilled to have a treat, and they enjoyed those cupcakes while mom was grocery shopping. I am thankful for her thoughtfulness.

Surprisingly, I think I managed to get all the groceries we will need for the week. Wyatt does have a birthday next week, but I think I have the ingredients for his birthday supper in our pantry. I was very thankful that I did not have to wait in line at the grocery store as that was a special blessing! I don’t mind waiting, but with all the people wearing masks, it just doesn’t encourage happy conversations while in line waiting! The produce man in the grocery store often recognizes me. Mostly because I always buy the produce that is on sale, and I buy a bunch of it. He recognized me today, but he was wearing a mask. He came over to me just to tell me that he was smiling behind his mask even though I couldn’t see it. He’s an older gentleman also, and I always appreciate it when he points me in the direction of the produce that is on sale- that’s the one I’m always looking for!

Maine coronavirus news: 847 confirmed cases and 32 deaths. 382 have had Coronavirus and have now recovered. So that’s almost half! I told my friend Allison that every day brings us one day closer to the end. Whether the light coming is the light at the end of the tunnel or an oncoming train, we just don’t know yet! But we are just praying with great faith and passion and commitment that God is going before us, beside us and behind us every step of the way! Wow-there is great comfort in that!

Day # Resorting to Bribery?!

Our sea glass collection today!

Chandler’s hunk of wood! 

And another heavy hunk of wood

Emma found a “tablet” 

Mud, rocks and sea glass! 

Thankful and blessed! 

Bribery: the giving or offering up of a bribe. Yup! Today I used bribery! I told the kids that if we finished our school work for the day early we would go get lunch from McDonald’s and go to the beach. The truth of the matter is that the children did not need bribery to get their school work done as they are usually up and starting on their work before 7:00am. However, the bribery was for this mom! (By getting lunch from McDonald’s that is one less meal to cook!)  Truthfully, I am ready to be done with the whole quarantine, staying-at-home, at-home learning, missing church, missing school, I am just done! However, we are not done, and we do not know when we will be done. Therefore, we press on!

We did get all of the requirements for the day done before lunchtime, and I was even able to squeeze in a short run. Then we went on our adventure to McDonald’s and the beach! The children were very glad to have a change of scenery, and we even swung by the airport to drop off some lunch for Roger! Fun times! While the day was chilly and cool, the kids were dressed in their winter coats and boots, so we were comfortable for a walk to the beach. Travis brought along his bucket to collect his treasures in, and Emma happily helped him fill it up with “treasures”. We serve a majestic God whose handiwork is visibly in all of His Creation. Our children really enjoy being outside, and they were happy to tromp along the beach shore for well over an hour. Chandler found a huge hunk of wood that he wanted to use for his fort, and Travis and Garett also found a slab of wood. These were very heavy pieces of wood, but the boys thought they could use the wood in their forts and projects at home. It was a long walk back to the van, but they did it!

Maine News: It just doesn’t seem to be easing up. The number of virus cases is up to 829, with 29 deaths. Over 350 people have recovered from the virus. One of my deep concerns for our state is how much our economy depends on tourism and small businesses. The longer we are prevented from opening back up the economy the harder it will be for our state to recover. Do I think each life is important? Um...absolutely and without a doubt! However, I also want to point out that keeping everyone at home and without gainful employment will spike the depression, suicide and child abuse numbers. We need to be aware of the whole picture. Clearly, I’m not in charge here, and no one would want me to be, but I also refuse to bury my head in the sand and pretend there is not more to this equation.

So, what do I know? I know that God is as faithful to His children now as when He parted the Red Sea for Moses. I know that God is as loving to His children now as He was when He closed the mouths of the lions for Daniel. I  know that God is as compassionate to His children now as He was when He provided for the feeding of the 5,000. We continue to rest in His promises!

Day # Fishing and Packages! (Along with some furniture moving!)

Clean and Fresh look - at least for today! 

Welcome to another episode of Quarantine writings from the Robertson family! Today we did school, moved furniture, went outside, more school, eating and laundry- what did you do for excitement today?

I know that most of you, if not all of you, are missing your church families, friends, schools, community events, and other social gatherings. I don’t have any great words of encouragement other than we are one day closer to whenever the end might be! I would encourage you to keep the faith and don’t borrow someone else’s fear. What do I mean? Let me explain. We live in a world that is controlled by fear and fearful manipulations. Yet, the Bible tells us many times to “fear not”. It must be important as we are commanded more than 350 times to either “fear not” or “be not afraid”! I even see Christians that are fearful about the situations in our churches, schools, communities, etc. I absolutely believe that we must “bear each other’s burdens”, but I do not think that means we take on their fear. Take your fear and cast it at the feet of Jesus....repeat as often as necessary!

I have very much come to treasure my time of prayer with the staff ladies from our school. It has created some sense of “normalcy” as we pray together often and regularly. I am thankful to hear their voices lifted in prayer to our King.

Today we received an unexpected package in the mail. It was a whole box of whoopie pies! My kids were thrilled, and they are a delicious and delightful treat! Whoopie pies are a Maine dessert, and this particular kind is especially delicious-even with all the calories!

Roger had off of work today, so he helped the boys move around some furniture for me. Since we can’t really go places, and we are spending a lot of time around each other and at home, we needed a change of scenery. I asked the boys and Roger to bring up the furniture that is in our guest room in the basement and switch it out with the furniture that we did have in our living room. The boys were able to use their muscles, as well as some thinking to figure out how to get the furniture up and down the stairs. I am happy with the change, and I know the boys are happy that mom liked it because otherwise they would have needed to switch it all back!

Roger took the boys fishing this afternoon, and while they did not catch any fish, they had a good time together. Wyatt chose to stay home and work on his foam airplane, which is coming along nicely. I am thankful for hot glue guns, tape, foam board and imaginations!

Renee and I had another google meet with our preschoolers. We did not have as good of a turnout as last week, but it was still delightful to see those that did join the meeting. We sure do miss them all. I would appreciate your continued prayers for our school, our students and our teachers. The school board, I’m sure, would also appreciate your prayers as they try to make wise decisions that are the best for our students, parents and teachers. Sometimes, it is hard to balance it all, and I know that the school board would appreciate your prayers for God’s wisdom.


Maine News: 796 Cases total. 27 deaths. 333 recoveries. There is so much more I could write, but truthfully, I am a bit weary!

YUM!

Team Work! 

Day # Airplane Engineering!

Airplane Engineering

                                                  Schoolwork in a tree fort!

                                                                  Fun Memories!

Emma’s plant! 

Day # Hmmm....no idea! This is my 29th day of consecutively writing on the blog! If  you’ve been following along with us, you know we haven’t gone crazy yet! Or have we?!  I remind myself often that God is still good. He is still faithful. He is still on the throne. I choose to rejoice in that today!

It only rained for about half of the day today, so we took advantage of getting outside this morning. Wednesdays are always a little bit crazy as we try to navigate through google meets, school assignments,  and life at home. Travis and Wyatt both are in the same class, so that helps eliminate a google meet. But with five kids in school, and myself helping with the two pre-school classes, I find myself still looking at my appointment book to remember who has a meeting when and what time! So far, I think I’ve managed to send out the right preschool video lessons to the right classes, and we’ve made it to all our google meets. I know that each school is doing things differently and has a different approach to remote learning, but this mama is so thankful that our children don’t have actual classes to sit in every day! I think children can teach themselves a lot on their own in this season of their education just by being outside. We’ve had wood-cutting lessons, tree fort building, target practice, trenches dug for water drainage, and airplanes made out of foam board for just a few of our “out-of school” lessons. My favorite part about this kind of learning is that it is totally student led! I have spent some extra time cautioning our children lately that this is not a good time to go to the emergency room, so please use some extra caution! We’ve had a few splinters, needed a few baid-aids, and have used a lot of soap and water, but so far it’s going quite well!

Today the boys made airplanes out of foam board. They spent much of the day creating and crafting airplanes by using hot glue guns, wood skewers, small weights, tape and foam boards. The basement is a bit messier than this mama likes it to be, but the lessons learned have been very productive. Garett is not a fan of math, but he didn’t realize how much math he used today to measure wings, add weights and balances, and cut angles! I absolute think that we need to use paper and pencils in school, but I also think that hands on learning also has a place in learning. It’s about balance! I remember years ago when we were just starting out on home-schooling hearing one mom tell me,
“Oh, we don’t school our children. We believe in un-schooling.” I was like, “What?!” Apparently it’s a type of learning where the children learn only what they are interested in, and they spend most of their time doing whatever they want to do. It sounded terribly undisciplined to me, and I couldn’t imagine that chaos that could come from letting four young boys “un-school” themselves. I’m pretty sure that I would still have a child or two that wouldn’t know how to read or do math, and they wouldn’t be bothered in the least about that! I am certainly not being negative if that is how you choose to school your children -that’s your choice. But I know that for myself and our family, I don’t see that as being a wise or good choice for our children. The truth is that we all need to learn to do things that we don’t like as it is a part of life! I think learning should be “fun” yes, but the truth of the matter is that not all of life is “fun”. Sometimes we need to teach our children to stick with hard things, and to be disciplined and have the self-control to finish the task in front of them even if it’s not their favorite! I still have to do that in my own life, and I bet you do too!

Roger had the day off today, so that is always helpful for the Wednesday craziness. He was able to listen to Emma read, and that is very helpful. Chandler took his school work out to his tree fort this morning, as he said that it was nice and quiet out there!

Our van was having some trouble with running smoothly, so Roger and I dropped it off at the mechanic shop a few days ago. We are thankful that Roger’s boss had an extra vehicle that we can use. We were able to get the van picked back up today, and while vehicle repairs are never pleasant, I am thankful for a vehicle that is running smoothly again.

Maine news: The number of corona cases has reached to 770 and an additional four people have died from corona. 305 people have recovered from the virus, and that is good news! We are trying to wait patiently, and I’d highly encourage you to turn off the news and spend some time praying. This is a difficult time for so, so many people, but I want to encourage you that God sees the storm from the other side. God didn’t wonder what He was going to do. He has not faltered or failed, and while our spirits may be weary, let’s continue to stay faithful to pray and to fast. God can send revival across our land, and I want it to start in my own heart and life.