Deep Sadness and Deep Love

It has been an overwhelming and heartbreaking few days and that is a gross understatement. On Sunday night, Roger called me and with his voice breaking with emotion, he told me that his boss, Kevin, had unexpectedly passed away. I started sobbing, and my heart is broken. Kevin was so much more than a boss to our family. He was one of Roger’s dearest friends. He gave Garett his first official flying lesson. He welcomed all of our kids into his office with a smile and, “Hey kids, the fridge is stocked (with sodas).” When he asked how you were doing, he took the time to really listen. He was always busy, but always willing to listen. When I was discouraged and frustrated with the state of our nation and state, he listened. He always ended his conversations with a hug, a smile, and “You count.” I don’t have the words to describe how much he will be missed by just our family alone much less the hundreds and thousands of lives he has touched. 

Breaking the news to my children will forever be on my list of the hardest things I have ever done. There was not enough of me to go around as every child needed a hug, a comforting touch, and words of love. Mr. Kevin was their friend too, and I know their hearts are hurting. Needless to say there was not much sleeping going on around here on Sunday night. We all needed to be with Roger, but we are instead over 21 hours away visiting my family in Wisconsin. Three of our five kids immediately stated that they wanted to go home right away. I know they are still in deep shock, and it’ll take a while for his death to become real...to all of us. Roger and I spent time talking and praying about what we should do, and we decided that it would probably be best if the kids and I stuck with the original plan of returning home on Friday. As much as we want to be together, our kids also need this time with my parents. We’ve certainly been reminded that life is short and that we don’t know when death will come knocking. 

I know I’m going to want to write more about Kevin, but my heart is just so overwhelmed that it’s hard to process any cognitive thoughts. Garett told me last night that his favorite memory  is when he got to go flying with Mr. Kevin. Garett’s first official flying lesson will forever be a favorite memory. Our children only have good memories of Kevin, and their love for him is deep and pure. Chandler and Garett were remembering just the time a few weeks ago when they flew in the float plane with Kevin up to the northern camp for the day. Our kids have fond memories of meals at our house, laughter and adventures, Kevin’s offers of allowing the boys to hang out at the airport, cold sodas, surprise birthday parties, hugs and affection, and the security of knowing that they were loved by Kevin. He will be missed. 

Our hearts are overwhelmed. Our hearts are broken. Our hearts are seeking the comfort of our Heavenly Father. Our hearts are resting in the peace that our Heavenly Father gives to us. 

 We could use an extra measure of grace, and please uphold Kevin’s wife in your prayers with us.